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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

3 Ways to Handle Anger Before Anger Handles You


"Feelings are much like waves. We can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf." -Jonatan MÃ¥rtensson

In the Western world, we think of strength as big muscles, heavy weights, physical power. But in the ancient Eastern cultures, strength means something entirely different. The yogis think of strength more as an ability to overcome powerful emotions such as anger and jealousy.

Here are some tips on dealing with anger so you can walk proud on your finest path through life:

1. Remember that anger and love are two sides of the same coin:

If you really want love in your life, you must be willing to spend a little time with love's less comfortable relatives, anger and pain. It's common to think that with anger and pain come breakup and divorce. But the bottom line is the more you love someone, the more able they are to piss you off.
So be aware: Anger and intense emotion are normal when you truly love and care. Mel McDaniel sings about this two-sided coin in "Anger and Tears":
Anger and tears, anger and tears. Is that all that's left of us after loving all these years As slowly as love grows how soon it disappears. In a house full of anger and a heart full of tears.Remember, true strength is being able to work through the anger rather than letting the anger work through you.

2. Before you lash out, look within
When you're struggling with anger, it's common to blame others for every little thing. A true sign of strength is taking responsibility for yourself. In "Startin' with Me," Jake Owen comes to a very yogic resolution to dealing with anger:
If I had a dime for half the things I did that didn't make no sense at all, I'd be living a little higher on the hog, If only I'd have known. That later on down the road I'd look back and not like what I see. I'd have changed a lot of things. Startin' with me.

3. Practice feeling without reacting
The 6,000-year old practice of meditation teaches that when you are in challenging situations, you make the best decisions in even the worst of situations if you just breathe and relax. Try it: Lift your arms to the sides of your body and hold them so you form a letter "T." Allow your arms to stay parallel to the ground for 2, 3, even 4 minutes. When your shoulders start to burn, notice that by breathing and relaxing, you gain more endurance. There's very little that physical strength, hustle, and effort can do you for you in this situation. As a famous Zen proverb reads: "Nothing on earth can overcome an absolutely non resistant person."

1 comment:

mantan said...

A very good and informative topic.

Seri,
“We have no license to hurt others.” Betul tak seri?

Anger is the strong emotion that we feel when someone has behave in such an unfair, cruel, or insulting way that we want to express our felling towards them in a forceful or violent way. Ganas lah tu…

It is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

Banyak sebab orang boleh marah. It can be caused by both external and internal events. We could be angry at a specific person ( Contohnya, murid kita atau pengetua kita) or event (kita tepercik air kerana orang memandu laju atau, tiba-tiba blackout sedangkan cuppy cup masih dalam oven.), or our anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about our personal problems.

Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Seri ,as we know, people express their anger in different ways. Kalau dah nak marah tu, macam-macam keluar….

But we can manage our anger, isn’t it, seri? It is so because we can reduce both our emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes.

Kadang-kadang susah kita nak kawal orang yang menyebabkan kita marah, we have to learn to control our reactions.

When we can control our anger we can reduce both our emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. Kita yang untung, bukan orang yang kita marah tu untung.

Seri, ada ketikanya , kata orang, marah ni bagus juga. Dapat melepasak apa yang terbuku di hati. Tapi cara marah tu kena betul la…

Kata sesetengah orang bijak pandai. "The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and further, as he ought, when he ought, and as long as he ought, is praised.”

Ada juga kebenaran kata- kata tu…seri. Anger can be good for us because it's designed to protect us, our relationships and our way of seeing the world. In the everlasting battle between right and wrong, the bodily effects of anger are meant to tell us that something's wrong.

Tapi, tapi, tapi when everyone is upset, anger is not a good thing. Betul tak seri ?

Anggaplah kemarahan tu macam pengawal yang menjaga diri kita. Macam polis lah.Think of anger as our own personal police , mengawal keadaan, when injustice has been done.

Sorry seri, this comment dah makan banyak ruang. Bukan kerana nak marah….hehehehehe..

Happy Blogging!.

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